i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
