I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
