I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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