wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize