dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
