butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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