FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Buhtt sex?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize