therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
