her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
