unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize