don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
