what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
