I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
