yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
