That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
