it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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