Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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