Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
