meet me or not, i'm out of control
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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