I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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