The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
