This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
