What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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