Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
