i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
