You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
