just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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