all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize