I showed him my bush... on skype.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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