porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
