real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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