i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
