Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
