i already hear my dad disowning me
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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