i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
