think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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