She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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