Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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