i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize