That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I am mentally ready for anal.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
