I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Randomize
