Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
