Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
