I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
But break dance skills will only take you so far
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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