addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
