I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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