just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
