I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
