did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
