Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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