Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
