Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
