When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
