We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
