there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize