Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
