all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
