You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
