i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
