do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
