She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Sorry about my life...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
