at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
