girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
