me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
this just has baby written all over it
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
