We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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