Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
